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William McGonagall

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William McGonagall

William McGonagall, early 1900s. Courtesy Wikimedia Commons.

William Topaz McGonagall
Born 1825 or 1830
Greyfriars Parish, Edinburgh, Scotland
Died 29 September 1902
Greyfriars Parish, Edinburgh, Scotland
Occupation Weaver, actor, poet, and performance artist
Known for Poetry

William Topaz McGonagall (March 1825[1] - 29 September 1902) was a Scottish poet, weaver, and actor. He won notoriety as an extremely bad poet who exhibited no recognition of nor concern for his peers' opinions of his work.

Life[]

Overview[]

He wrote some 200 poems, including the infamous "Tay Bridge Disaster" and "The Famous Tay Whale," which are widely regarded as some of the worst in British history. Groups throughout Scotland engaged him to make recitations from his works; contemporary descriptions of these performances indicate that many of these listeners were appreciating McGonagall's skill as a comic music hall character, and as such his readings may be considered a form of performance art. Collections of his verse continue in popularity, with several volumes available today.

McGonagall has been acclaimed as the worst poet in British history. The chief criticisms of his poetry are that he is deaf to poetic metaphor and unable to scan correctly. In the hands of lesser artists, this might generate merely dull, uninspiring verse. McGonagall's fame stems from the humorous effects these shortcomings generate. The inappropriate rhythms, weak vocabulary, and ill-advised imagery combine to make his work amongst the most spontaneously amusing comic poetry in the English language.

Youth and marriage[]

Although McGonagall is almost soleley linked to Dundee, Scotland, he was born (and died) in Greyfriars Parish, Edinburgh. He was born to Irish parents in Edinburgh. Later McGonagall moved north, and was apprenticed as a handloom weaver in Dundee, following in his Father's footsteps.[2]

In 1846, he married Jean King and together, they raised 5 sons and 2 daughters.[2] Despite the industrial revolution slowly making weavers obsolete, McGonagall appeared to prosper as there was still need for skilled workers to perform tasks of great complexity.[2]

Career[]

Though he was yet to show an ambition for poetry, he did show a keenness for acting although the theatre where he performed, Mr Giles' Theatre, would let him perform the title role in Macbeth only if he paid for the privilege in advance. Their caution proved ill-founded, as the theatre was filled with friends and fellow workers, anxious to see what they correctly predicted to be an amusing disaster. Although the play should have ended with Macbeth's death at the hands of Macduff, McGonagall believed that the actor playing Macduff was trying to upstage him, and so refused to die.[3][4]

By the 1870's, McGonagall and his family were struggling. Weaving work was becoming more difficult to find and his oldest daughter, Margaret, brought shame on the family by giving birth to an illegitimate son.[2] Then an event occurred that changed his life. As he was to write:

The most startling incident in my life was the time I discovered myself to be a poet, which was in the year 1877.[5]}}

McGonagall claims to have been suddenly inspired to become a poet one day when he "seemed to feel a strange kind of feeling stealing over [him], and remained so for about five minutes. A flame, as Lord Byron said, seemed to kindle up [his] entire frame, along with a strong desire to write poetry."[6] He wrote his first poem "An Address to the Rev. George Gilfillan", which showed the hallmarks that would characterise his later work. Gilfillan commented, "Shakespeare never wrote anything like this."

McGonagall soon realised that if he were to prosper as a poet, he would require a patron. Ambitiously, he wrote to Queen Victoria]] herself. Unsurprisingly, he received a letter of rejection, written by a royal functionary and thanking him for his interest.[7] Rather than being disappointed, McGonagall took this as great praise of his work - during a trip to Dunfermline in 1879, he was mocked by the Chief Templar, who told him that his poetry was very bad. McGonagall told the man that "it was so very bad that Her Majesty had thanked [McGonagall] for what [the Chief Templar] had condemned."[8]

The letter gave McGonagall further confidence in his "poetic abilities", and he felt his reputation with the Queen could be enhanced further if he were to give her a live performance of his work.[8] So in July 1878, he walked from Dundee to Balmoral, a distance of about 60 miles (97 km) over mountainous terrain and through a violent thunderstorm, "wet to the skin", to perform for Queen Victoria.[9] When he arrived, he announced himself as "The Queen's Poet". The guards curtly informed him "You're not the Queen's poet! Tennyson is the Queen's poet!" (Alfred, Lord Tennyson was, at the time, poet laureate). McGonagall presented the letter but was refused entry and had to return home.[10] Undeterred, his poetry writing continued, and he reported events to the newspapers, earning himself some minor recognition.[11]

Throughout his life McGonagall campaigned vigorously against excessive drinking, appearing in pubs and bars to give edifying poems and speeches. These were very popular, the people of Dundee possibly recognising that McGonagall was "so giftedly bad he backed unwittingly into genius"[12] He often met with the ire of the publicans, on one occasion being pelted with peas for reciting a poem about the evils of "strong drink".[13]

McGonagall constantly struggled with money and earned his money by selling his poems in the streets, or by reciting them in halls, theatres and public houses. When he was in periods of financial insecurity, his friends would support him with donations.[8] In 1880 he sailed to London to seek his fortune, and in 1887 to New York. In both instances, he returned unsuccessful.[11]

He soon found lucrative work performing his poetry at a local circus.[8] He would read his poems while the crowd was permitted to pelt him with eggs, flour, herrings, potatoes and stale bread. For this, he received fifteen shillings a night.[11] McGonagall seemed happy with this arrangement, but the events would become so raucous that the city magistrates were forced to put a ban on them.[14] McGonagall was outraged and wrote a poem in response entitled Lines in Protest to the Dundee Magistrates:

Fellow citizens of Bonnie Dundee
Are ye aware how the magistrates have treated me?
Nay, do not stare or make a fuss
When I tell ye they have boycotted me from appearing in Royal Circus,
Which in my opinion is a great shame,
And a dishonour to the city's name....

Throughout his life McGonagall seemed oblivious to the general opinion of his poems, even when his audience were pelting him with eggs and vegetables. It is possible he was shrewder than he is given credit for, and was playing along to his audience's perception of him, in effect making his recitals an early form of performance art.[15] In 1890 McGonagall was again in dire straits financially. To help him, his friends funded the publication of a collection of his works, Poetic Gems. The proceeds provided McGonagall with enough money to live on for a time.[16] By 1893 he was becoming annoyed by his mistreatment in the streets and wrote an angry poem threatening to leave Dundee. One newspaper quipped that he'd probably stay for another year once he realised "that Dundee rhymes with 1893".[17] Though trying his hand at writing prose and endorsements for local businesses for a short time,[17] in 1894 he and his wife were forced to move to Perth.

Soon after, he received a letter purporting to be from representatives of King Thibaw Min of Burma. In it, he was informed that the King had knighted him as Sir Topaz, Knight of the White Elephant of Burmah. Despite the fact that this was a fairly transparent hoax,[18] McGonagall would refer to himself as "Sir William Topaz McGonagall, Knight of the White Elephant, Burmah" in his advertising for the rest of his life.[15]

In 1895 McGonagall and his wife moved again, this time to Edinburgh. Here, McGonagall actually met with some success, becoming a "cult figure"[17] and was in great demand. This did not last very long and by 1900 he was once again destitute as well as being old and sickly. Though he was now too frail to walk the streets selling his poems, donations from friends, as ever, kept him afloat.[19]

He died penniless in 1902 and was buried in an unmarked grave in Greyfriars Kirkyard in Edinburgh.

Possible Asperger's[]

Author Norman Watson speculates in his biography of McGonagall that the poet may have been on the "autism - Asperger's spectrum". Novelist Christopher Hart, writing in the Sunday Times, says that this seems "likely". [20]

Writing[]

The Tay Bridge Disaster[]

Main article: The Tay Bridge Disaster
File:Original Tay Bridge before the 1879 collapse.jpg

Original Tay Bridge (from the north).

File:Tay bridge down.JPG

Original Tay Bridge (from the south) the day after the disaster.

Of the 200 or so poems that he wrote, the most famous is probably "The Tay Bridge Disaster", which recounts the events of the evening of 28 December 1879, when, during a severe gale, the Tay Rail Bridge near Dundee collapsed as a train was passing over it.

      Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silv'ry Tay!
      Alas! I am very sorry to say
      That ninety lives have been taken away
      On the last Sabbath day of 1879,
      Which will be remember'd for a very long time.

(Modern sources give the death toll as 75.)

Few could disagree with McGonagall's closing judgement: '

      I must now conclude my lay
      By telling the world fearlessly without the least dismay
      That your central girders would not have given way,
      At least many sensible men do say,
      Had they been supported on each side with buttresses,\
      At least many sensible men confesses,
      For the stronger we our houses do build,
      The less chance we have of being killed'.[21]

McGonagall had previously written a poem in praise of the Tay Bridge: "The Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay" "With your numerous arches and pillars in so grand array". Once the new replacement bridge had been built, he proceeded to compose an ode to the new construction: "An Address to the New Tay Bridge" "Strong enough all windy storms to defy".

Recognition[]

William McGonagall plaque, Edinburgh, Scotland-20March2010

McGonagall memorial plaque near his grave in Edinburgh, dated 1999. Courtesy Wikimedia Commons.

A grave-slab installed to his memory in 1999 is inscribed:

William McGonagall
Poet and Tragedian
"I am your gracious Majesty
ever faithful to Thee,
William McGonagall, the Poor Poet,
That lives in Dundee."

Additionally, a plaque above 5 South College Street in Edinburgh shows an image of McGonagall, and bears the inscription:

William McGonagall
Poet and Tragedian
Died Here
29th September 1902
Mcgonagall-square

McGonagall Square, Dundee. Courtesy Wikimedia Commons.

McGonagall's home city of Dundee maintains several reminders of his life:

  • The William Topaz McGonagall Appreciation Society held a McGonagall Supper on board the frigate Unicorn on 12 June 1997, during which the courses were allegedly served in reverse order, starting with the coffee and ending with the starters. A short play was performed by local actors.[22]
  • Beginning in 2004, the Dundee Science Centre Education Outreach has hosted an annual Charity McGonagall Gala Dinner,[23] in which guests eat their meal backwards from dessert to starter and hear the welcome address as they depart, "combining traditional and unconventional entertainment, with four-course dinner, complimentary wine and whisky".
  • There is a McGonagall Square in the West End of Dundee.[24]
  • A number of inscriptions of his poetry have been made, most notably along the side of the River Tay on the pavement of Riverside Drive in Dundee. This monument contains a deliberate spelling mistake.[25]
  • Dundee Central Library maintains a William McGonagall Collection of his works.Cite error: Closing </ref> missing for <ref> tag was set to music by Matyas Seiber for the second Hoffnung Music Festival in 1958. The arrangement calls for a narrator (at the premiere the narrator was Edith Evans), full orchestra, a fog horn, and an espresso machine.
  • A 1974 movie called The Great McGonagall starred Milligan as a fictionalized William McGonagall. Peter Sellers played Queen Victoria. Milligan further recounted McGonagall's life story in the pastiche novel William McGonagall - the Truth at Last, co-written with Jack Hobbs.
  • A Muppet character named "Angus McGonagle, the Argyle Gargoyle" appeared on one episode of The Muppet Show. As his stage act he "gargled Gershwin".
  • In The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett, the Nac Mac Feegle have a battle poet, or Gonnagle, who repels the enemy through the awfulness of his poetry. Training up a successor, 'the old bard congratulates the young one: "That, lad," he said proudly, "was some of the worst poetry I have heard for a long time. It was offensive to the ear and a torrrture to the soul...a verrry commendable effort! We'll make a gonnagle out o' ye yet!"...a touching tribute to the memory of William McGonagall...famously excruciating Scottish poet'.[26]
  • An episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus featured a McGonagall-esque poet called Ewan McTeagle,[27] whose poems were actually prose requests for money.
  • In the Harry Potter books, author J.K. Rowling chose the surname of the Professor of Transfiguration, Minerva McGonagall, because she had heard of McGonagall and loved the surname.[28]
  • The January 9, 2007 episode of the show with zefrank claimed to have been hosted from the home of McGonagall.
  • Billy Connolly visited Dundee and the Tay Bridge during his 1994 World Tour of Scotland, where he talked about McGonagall and recited a passage from his book Scottish Gems: "I don't like publicans. The first man to throw a plate of peas at me was a publican," speculating on how popular throwing plates of peas at him must have become after this. Connolly also read The Tay Bridge Disaster in the middle of a blizzard.
  • Satirical magazine Private Eye has printed a number of McGonagallesque poems concerning great events of the day, usually under the byline William Rees-McGonagall, a portmanteau of McGonagall's name and that of William Rees-Mogg. For example, in 2007, they covered the success of the Scottish National Party and its success in the Scottish Parliament election.
  • McGonagall was the subject of the newspaper column Ripley's Believe It or Not! on October 11, 2007, saying he "was often considered the world's worst poet, even by his own publisher, yet his writings are still in print a century after his death!"
  • In episode 13 of season 2 of Canadian TV series Murdoch Mysteries, one of the murder victims is holding a copy of a book entitled "The Collected Works of William Topaz McGonagall". The character of Murdoch says: "It seems our Mr. Vanderlay had terrible taste in poetry". The book, it appears, was placed in his hand to make it seem he had died crushed by a falling bookcase while trying to retrieve it.
  • A collection of 35 broadsheet poems of McGonagall, the majority signed by him, was bought for £6,600 (including commission) from Lyon & Turnbull, Edinburgh auctionneers, on 16 May 2008.[29][30]
  • Dundonian actor Brian Cox compared the comic creation Bob Servant to McGonagall while playing Servant in a radio adaptation. Servant is the creation of Dundonian author Neil Forsyth who has acknowledged McGonagall as an influence in the Bob Servant character.[31]

Publications[]

Poetry[]

Plays[]

  • Jack o' the Cudgel; or, The hero of a thousand fights. published in Collected Poems, 2006.

Non-fiction[]

  • The authentic autobiography of the poet McGonagall, Dundee : Luke, Mackie & Co. Printers, [1892?]

Collected editions[]


Except where noted, bibliographical information courtesy WorldCat.[32]

Poems by William McGonagall[]

  1. The Famous Tay Whale

See also[]

v · d · ePoetasters

References[]

  1. ↑ Campbell, D. (2003). Edinburgh: A cultural and literary history. Cities of the imagination. Oxford: Signal. ISBN 1-902669-73-8. p. 65.
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 Hunt, Chris, William McGonagall: Collected Poems, Birlinn, 2006, p v
  3. ↑ "White Elephant : Scotland Magazine Issue 5". Scotlandmag.com. 2002-11-04. http://www.scotlandmag.com/magazine/issue5/12006249.html. Retrieved 2009-07-03. 
  4. ↑ "McGonagall the Heroic Failure". McGonagall Online. 2007-04-03. http://www.mcgonagall-online.org.uk/articles/failures.htm. Retrieved 2009-07-03. 
  5. ↑ Hunt, Chris, William McGonagall: Collected poems, Birlinn, 2006, p vi
  6. ↑ Hunt, Chris, William McGonagall: Collected poems, Birlinn, 2006, px
  7. ↑ Hunt, Chris, William McGonagall: Collected Poems, Birlinn, 2006, pvii
  8. ↑ 8.0 8.1 8.2 8.3 Hunt, Chris, William McGonagall: Collected Poems, Birlinn, 2006, p viii
  9. ↑ McGonagall, More Poetic Gems Dundee, 1962
  10. ↑ McGonagall, Wm; Transcript of autobiography from More Poetic Gems
  11. ↑ 11.0 11.1 11.2 Hunt, Chris, William McGonagall: Collected Poems, Birlinn, 2006, p vii
  12. ↑ Stephen Pile, The Book of Heroic Failures
  13. ↑ William McGonagall, Collected Poems, Birlinn, 2006, p 13-23
  14. ↑ Hunt, Chris, William McGonagall: Collected Poems, Birlinn, 2006, p viii - ix
  15. ↑ 15.0 15.1 The Real McGonagall, by Gord Bambrick. Geocities, Web, July 3, 2009.
  16. ↑ Hunt, Chris, William McGonagall: Collected Poems, Birlinn, 2006, p ix
  17. ↑ 17.0 17.1 17.2 Hunt, Chris, William McGonagall: Collected Poems, Birlinn, 2006, p x
  18. ↑ Hunt, Chris, William McGonagall: Collected Poems, Birlinn, 2006, px
  19. ↑ Hunt, Chris, William McGonagall: Collected Poems, Birlinn, 2006, p xi
  20. ↑ Sunday Times, 7 November 2010
  21. ↑ Quoted in Terry Pratchett & Jacqueline Simpson, The Folklore of Discworld (London 2008) p. 80
  22. ↑ "William Topaz McGonagall Supper - June 12, 1997". Taynet.co.uk. http://www.taynet.co.uk/users/mcgon/bglink1.htm. Retrieved 2009-07-03. 
  23. ↑ [1]Template:Dead link
  24. ↑ "Google Maps". Maps.google.co.uk. 1970-01-01. http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=McGonagall+Square&sll=56.463818,-2.99381&sspn=0.0085,0.013454&layer=&ie=UTF8&z=18&ll=56.455489,-2.990878&spn=0.002125,0.005123&t=h&om=1. Retrieved 2009-07-03. 
  25. ↑ "Rampant Scotland Newsletter - 5 April 2003". Rampantscotland.com. http://www.rampantscotland.com/let030405.htm. Retrieved 2009-07-03. 
  26. ↑ Terry Pratchett & Jacqueline Simpson, The Folklore of Discworld (London 2008) p. 79-81
  27. ↑ As listed. "The Poet McTeagle". Orangecow.org. http://orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/mcteagle.htm. Retrieved 2009-07-03. 
  28. ↑ "1999: Accio Quote!, the largest archive of J.K. Rowling interviews on the web". Quick-quote-quill.org. Archived from the original on August 1, 2008. http://web.archive.org/web/20080801073348/http://www.quick-quote-quill.org/articles/1999/1099-connectiontransc.html. Retrieved 2009-07-03. 
  29. ↑ BOOKS, MAPS & MANUSCRIPTS - SALE 208 - LOT 298 - LYON & TURNBULL at www.lyonandturnbull.com
  30. ↑ "'Worst poet' outsells boy wizard". BBC News. 2008-05-16. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/tayside_and_central/7402920.stm. Retrieved 2008-08-06. 
  31. ↑ The Dundee Courier (2010-10-04). "Brian Cox To Play Dundonian 'Man of The People'". http://www.thecourier.co.uk/News/Dundee/article/5904/brian-cox-to-play-dundonian-man-of-the-people-bob-servant.html. Retrieved 2010-06-12. 
  32. ↑ Search results = au: William McGonagall, WorldCat, OCLC Online Computer Library Center Inc. Web, Sep. 28, 2013.

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